We've put years into academia, only to find ourselves cast out of it. Or we're trapped in difficult, precarious positions on its margins. We deserve better than what we got.
I think we deserve to mourn our lost careers, or acknowledge we're in purgatory. Half-seriously, I made this site: a virtual career graveyard.
My serious point is this: loss deserves recognition. Anyway, add yourself too if you want. It's for anyone. For all of us.
FPM β Reflections
Didn't realize that bootstrapping through taking customer service roles would undermine my credibility by *that much.*
Dr. Leahcim Semaj
Resurrected as Above or Beyond Inc.
Boca Eaton, Fort Lauderdale, Kingston
π
πΊ
Dr. Leahcim Semaj β Reflections
I read the game early and escaped to the real world.
Free to be my best self.
No Limits.
Harpy
Over-40 PhD meant adjuncting in basements until death (I left instead)
USA
πΉ
π
Harpy β Reflections
Thanks for this mourning service, much needed as so many of us move forward into more nourishing lines of work.
Dymphna
Died a slow and painful death alone, body found covered in unfinished articles
Toronto
π
MBR
Subjectivty and bullying, alas the tenure reqs could not be assessed well.
Corvallis, Ore.
π
πΊ
Liz B
Sanity Prevailed, I left.
UK and Ireland
πΉ
πΊ
Liz B β Reflections
Sadly I surrendered the dream. Ridiculous pressure to produce voluminous, mindless content, feed egos, and plagiarised ideas to build selfish careers. Academia should be a place to think, be creative, improve the human condition and spirit, but the ablist, neoliberial university is mind crushing and soul destroying for early career academics.
OB
Former postdoc
Cambridge
πΉ
π
OB β Reflections
Got funding cut from the dream job: realised that the dream job shouldn't make you constantly stressed and miserable
Jakob Williams Oerberg
Liked working and building things with other people too much
Denmark
π
πΊ
Jakob Williams Oerberg β Reflections
Universities are not yet ready for criss cross careersβ¦ other things are wrong too β> read more tombs!
DSV
Cause of death: academic cliques, abusive partners, and becoming a mother.
Canada
Reserved plot
Jess
I never saw a well-balanced life I wanted there anyway.
Vancouver, BC
πΉ
RP
Where do I begin?
Hobart
Reserved plot
CMT
I finally get benefits, vacation, and can pay my bills.
Somewhere I chose to live, not where academia had a job.
π
πΊ
WCO6
Life sucked out by postions of responsibility, but no authority.
USA
πΊ
WCO6 β Reflections
I have completely run out of you know whats to give.
support open education
if i hadn't been laid off due to COVID i would have died from the toxicity
HELL
π
MP
22 years and adjunct, still holding on. Why??
East Coast US, where there are lots of colleges but no jobs
Reserved plot
Harassed out
Realized I, and my skills, would be more valued elsewhere
Everywhere
Reserved plot
Harassed out β Reflections
Academic bullying sucks.
AJF
Academia, rigmarole defined.
Canada
π
AJF β Reflections
Precarity was not my style.
SW
Couldn't balance job search with family needs
California
π
π
S H
Lacked the confidence of a straight white man and died under pressure.
France
π₯
πΉ
DL
Tired of being disposable labour
Oxford
πΊ
Unemployed PhD
Here rests a PhD that did worth less than a covering letter
United Kingdom
π₯
π
Unemployed PhD β Reflections
Dead dreams take long to rot.
NR
Pushed out of my staff job at my Alma mater so boss could give my job to her BFF
NY
π₯
π₯
GW
Another five years buried, more years to bury.
Nigeria
Reserved plot
GW β Reflections
Good site!
Hannah Alpert-Abrams
would've been good at it
usa
π
Hannah Alpert-Abrams β Reflections
byeeeee
A defeated Library Media Specialist
Here lies an awesome library program, now dead due to no district funding.
Florida
π
π
PTG
Simply not that good at doing experiments.
boston, MA
Reserved plot
SC
Nervous breakdown, torched PhD. Now I'm a librarian.
The Northeast
π
π
CMS
student 4eva
Colonial hellscape
Reserved plot
Beloved Wife and Mother
Death by Two-Body Problem
College Town, USA
πΉ
πΊ
JD
Overworked and underemployed
a little bit of everywhere
Reserved plot
Jane Doe
Refused to be a Marytr
PA-NY-IL
πΉ
πΉ
Jane Doe β Reflections
I managed to avoid the worst parts of the academic underbelly: deep debt, mental breakdown, health crisis. But I stepped off the VAP merry-go-round when I realized that no matter what I did, I was always going to end up back in the same place. My epitath is a means to reclaim agency and subvert the narrative.
M S
Left a husk incapable of loving the field that was a lifelong passion and escape
Cambridge UK
Reserved plot
M S β Reflections
This is cathartic
HB
Here lies wasted potential and a handful of years of trauma gained
~Moved on to the materials and microscopy industry realm~
πΉ
π
SG
Believed in meritocracy, killed by neoliberalism
UK
Reserved plot
AS
Tired of the job market
England
π₯
AS β Reflections
Tired of being unhappy; learned I could thrive elsewhere
Sarp Kargi
Welp, I hope round 2 of undergrad works and this plot goes unused..
Manchester, UK
Reserved plot
Sarp Kargi β Reflections
No matter what, I'm quite happy about the painful lessons my experiences have given me...
LKG
Dum spiro, scribo. But... after 20+ years of online adjuncting, I quit.
the Interwebz
πΉ
πΊ
AJH
Dead academic careers leave no corpus
I travelled far to live
πΊ
π₯
AJH β Reflections
If you were meant to be an academic and didn't become one, you must find a way to live like a pianist who lost their hands. Learn to live through the music of others.
R
Here lies a career that would have ruined my life
A better place
π₯
R β Reflections
Research that was not trendy enough and a last spark of self-worth drove me out.
Anon
Wouldn't spend 3 months living with a man I had never met
Colorado
π₯
π
Anon
Neurodivergence and academia=recipe for disaster
Betelgeuse
Reserved plot
I gave up
Former Acadmeic
Melbourne
πΊ
π
FCKDK
I will haunt the dreams of those who create a toxic environment in academia
USA
Reserved plot
FCKDK β Reflections
After being called a wannabe academic, being bullied for two years, reprimanded for continuing to do research as a contingent faculty member , they did not renew my contract.
Former Assistant Professor ASF
Being an academic engaged in the community is an oxymoron.
USA
π
π₯
Former Assistant Professor ASF β Reflections
Much happier where I am. I only miss teaching and meeting my best colleagues at conferences.
A n other
Patronised once too often by faculty with fewer pubs and less grant capture
teaching and learning center
Reserved plot
A n other β Reflections
How dare I worry about paying medical costs for chronic illness
Iβll miss the colleagues who treated me as a human not as furniture
KBG
I thought there would be cake.
Washington, D.C.
π₯
GG
Wasn't very good at it
A different one every 6 months
π
πΊ
TKO
"You'll never get promoted doing work like that"
UK
Reserved plot
TKO β Reflections
Sacrificed advancement within the academy for work life balance and doing interesting things
SG
Too many ideas, too slow at writing them
The universe
Reserved plot
GH
Outstanding teaching.Never published.
Atlanta, GA
π
πΉ
AAH
To be true is to be free
Seattle, WA
π₯
AAH β Reflections
Academia is a caste system for desperate vampires.
CS
Not enough papers and thought staying longer would fix it
USA
πΉ
CS β Reflections
"You're not a good fit"
MS
Neurodivergent PoC grad student thought it was a safe space.
TO, CA
Reserved plot
MS β Reflections
Dont go to uni with a huge name. They usually suck.
E
Perished instead of published
Australia
Reserved plot
TheScientist
Dearly missed
Earth
Reserved plot
TheScientist β Reflections
Iβm an ECR, and I can see my professional world is falling apart with my hands tied and mouth shut. Itβs not anybodyβs fault at my work that bad things have happened to me since childhood. It is an unfair, unjust, and unwelcoming profession on top of racism and gender discrimination already for young scientists like me. Iβm exhausted and sick of people telling me to have thick skin.
RDK
Now to become the gnarled oak; to thrive uncut
Washington DC
π₯
π
RDK β Reflections
Why court the one holding the ax? Shun the woodsman and seek the favor of children and travelers instead.
Eli Rose
I miss teaching.
Atlanta, GA
πΊ
Eli Rose β Reflections
I spent 15 years in academia, counting graduate school. In the end, working in academia was a disaster for me β not just economically, but also emotionally, politically, morally and for my family. I finally left and found another career instead. I don't idealize academia. I'm happier. But I still mourn the losses. It's the loss of no longer getting to teach, to read, to do research. It's the loss of my own expertise and experience, and the decline of some of my social relationships and networks. I mourn the suffering I went through, the psychological damage and the sheer wasted time. And I disliked the pressure to constantly find a silver lining and stay optimistic no matter what. I want space for all those thoughts. The better to work through them.
Altha Jane Cravey
Fought injustice as long as possible.
UNC
π₯
Altha Jane Cravey β Reflections
I sued my chair and UNC over sex discriminiation and retaliation and retired abruptly a year ago (as part of the legal settlement). I'm glad to see a site like this where I can express my grief and my rage.
JS
She started with hope, and she just was not what the boys wanted.
New Zealand
π
JS β Reflections
Still, and always will be hopeful
SL
Exhausted Postdoc - expected the grind to have end - wishful thinking
Germany
Reserved plot
EJWB
Wanted to understand what makes a safe place
Scotland
π
π
EJWB β Reflections
Me and the current academic culture kept clashing.
I didn't like the expectation I should work 50+hours a week, over 6-7 days a week to progress my career, and be willing to move around the country and/or across the world. I felt guilty about this. I tried to adapt.
I didn't like the focus on individual progression, on individual brilliance and exceptionalism, I wanted to be part of a brilliant team, not brilliant alone.
In the end I accepted trying to adapt was making me more ill.
It seemed impossible to reasonably accommodate managing my neurodivergence and chronic health conditions in the prevailing culture.
I reluctantly left, finding a job where I could work less than 40 hours a week, over 4-5 days a week, serve the public directly, and be rewarded for collaborating well with others.
It suits me better.
But the research I wanted to pursue around what people perceive as a safe place, where we find pockets of safety in risky places, how we define and represent safety and for whom.
How we have more safe and inclusive places. Research I wanted to start and find collaborators for. Research I still think is sorely needed. It didn't happen. I initially hoped I could go back to it at some point. And now I'm not sure I ever will.
I am doing good and beneficial work where I am. Maybe I'll actually make a bigger contribution to Scotland doing what I do now.
But over 3 years on I till grieve the loss of this sometimes.
BB
Here lies the dreams and goals of a young graduate student
Davis, CA
π₯
πΉ
BB β Reflections
Great idea, and sad
Rainbow
Doesn't play well with narcissists
Oxford
πΊ
πΉ
Rainbow β Reflections
When you walk away from a prestigious institution, you take your skills and experience with you wherever you go.
Meritorious Anon
More work and no money = burnout
Online Prof.
πΉ
Meritorious Anon β Reflections
Teaching writing is thankless work.
GW
Lost a lot of myself in this journey... I shall arise and live again.
Nigeria
Reserved plot
A
Forever ABD
EU
πΊ
πΉ
A β Reflections
Don't got the courage to quit yet but PhD seems so impossible after 6+ yrs away
Dead and dying
Death by UGC's apathy
Hyderabad
π₯
P. E. H.
Tried writing a thesis while severely depressed. Failed and dropped out.
Germany
π
pre-pandemic postdoc
Suffered from severe depression and a narcissistic PI
A Dark Place
πΊ
πΊ
BLC
Abused every day for last 3 yrs of PhD. These people are sick and untouchable.
York, UK
Reserved plot
DISESTABLISHED
Never allowed to fly
Newcastle
π
πΊ
DISESTABLISHED β Reflections
For shame!
Neizvestnyi
Academia is no place for a disabled person
USA
πΊ
Neizvestnyi β Reflections
Between cuts affecting my masterβs program, an advisor who left to administer and one year of minimum wage pay for a teaching job requiring that MA I quit before starting a PhD.
Godswisdom
I had abandoned everything... Farewell my years of hard work!
Nigeria
πΉ
Laertides
Here lies a undergrad who thought he could be someone
Exeter, UK
Reserved plot
Laertides β Reflections
(R)ejected before his time
Recent Ph.D. Grad
Naive in my program choice ~ Severely bullied and drained of money and time.
A Prestigious School
π₯
π
Recent Ph.D. Grad β Reflections
Great idea! I hope that this helps me find closure.
MW
Had Bills to Pay
UK
πΊ
shine choi
I tried but it was fucking impossible!!!!
aotearoa nz
Reserved plot
shine choi β Reflections
sucks always being the problem, hate the tokenism that makes failures and shittiness mine. I am just trying to do the work ffs. better leave before pple destroy my health and soul, before they destroy the self in self determination
S.E.N.
She thought her love for poetry and literature would see her through
Hyderabad
πΉ
πΊ
S.E.N. β Reflections
Well I wasn't even let in to begin a career in Academia.
WY
"sub-optimal fit" & "Narrow and topical research"
The Netherlands
πΊ
πΉ
VC
Tenure denied
PA
π
VC β Reflections
There lies the minority who fought to not be tokenized, needed an income, drown in debt and got denied tenure. She tried, she failed, she did not surviveπ₯
Black Dragom
Do you deny the favours of your lord ?
Englandiana
π₯
Black Dragom β Reflections
In the end, the commitments and long hours doesnβt mean anything to anyone. When theyβre done with you theyβll kick you out the door
Tim Rayner
Saw The Light
Cambridge
π
π₯
Tim Rayner β Reflections
Academia, by design, focuses attention on one's own goals, at the expense of the team and the overall objective. It doesn't have to be that way, and often in industry, it isn't.
Former Assistant Professor
She realized tenure-track hell was paved with good intentions
Anywhere, USA
πΊ
LF
Let down by those who should have raised her
SW
π
π
LF β Reflections
Lack of support surrounding disowns long term illness. Exceptions made to my healthy male peers but not available for me
Bebop
Could publish but no funding
Northern England
Reserved plot
Bebop β Reflections
No
Jack H
Homless PhD resorting to crime to enter Cern or roof over my head? A Roof it is
Milton Keynes
π₯
Jack H β Reflections
It didn't help that fem-radical (Misandry) Social Services purposefully moved me back into Milton Keynes in 2006 intentionally messing up my GCSEs and thus leaving me to go through Key Skills every Academic season. Time ran out and I had to chose between: a life of crime and homelessness to get the money to complete the courses needed for my dreams; A life of dead-end minimum wage jobs that make no difference in the world.
Being on the ace end of the spectrum, I now merely exist ._.
NJM
I chose career stability and sanity over endless adjuncting.
Seattle, WA
π
π
NJM β Reflections
I still mourn even though Iβve been out 4 years and enjoy my career now. Academia is a helluva cult.
CB
Overworked, underpaid adjunct.
NY
πΉ
CB β Reflections
Work until you croak. Still donβt make enough to pay rent.
S. T.
No room for sick people
Academia
Reserved plot
AD
Here lies the academic everyone wanted me to be. Everyone except me.
Hong Kong
πΉ
AD β Reflections
I'm leaving in joyful defiance of all my well-meaning and fearful colleagues who don't dare imagine they could be happy and secure somewhere else. See ya.
DM
less production of knowledge than egos
nowhere stable
πΊ
DM β Reflections
I never fully pictured myself as an academic but was always told I could make it, that it would fulfill me. Paper success in graduate school fueled unrealistic expectations of academic potential. The reality is, my "pessimistic" view on the professoriate is an optimistic hope for actual happiness.
L
University destroyed my mental health so I had to drop out
Spain
π
πΉ
JB
Had to choose between supporting my children or furthering my career.
UK
Reserved plot
FML
Bullied for two years and then kicked to the curb.
USA
Reserved plot
FML β Reflections
My students loved me and my evaluations were always higher than the department average. I also won teaching awards at my prior university.
The Ginger Dwarf
Forgot to Lie for the Dean
Bath Spa University
π₯
The Ginger Dwarf β Reflections
When an investigation is underway, make sure you know what outcome the University desires and then coverup and lie for them if need be
HB
I didn't know I was just supposed to build YOUR empire rather than my own ideas.
PhD Advisors' Former Pawn
π₯
πΊ
HB β Reflections
ABD dropout. Now an adjunct. Don't know how long I'll continue as an adjunct with the dismal pay. I do love teaching though.
EA
Funding and passion dwindled to nothing
R1, USA
Reserved plot
M
Derailed off the tenure track
North Carolina
π₯
πΊ
K.K.
To the prof who said "Maybe you don't belong here", I'm glad.
Heaven, too, is a gated community; Hell is for the people.
π
K.K. β Reflections
Thanks for this!
CD
A broken system that breaks too many. I miss my students but couldn't continue.
NW England
πΉ
CD β Reflections
Thank you for this site! Didn't realise how much I needed to mark the loss of what I thought was going to be my career (I've gone from precarious Associate Lecturer to full time lecturer to part time precarious RA and I'm on my way out for good!).
BJS
Quit after discovering there really was a last straw
Sydney Australia
π
π
BJS β Reflections
I spent 20y trying to balance escalating workloads with raising neurodiverse kids, and held everything together during first COVID lockdown, only to be threatened with job loss if I didnβt switch to a non-research position (while working on two grant projects). Discovered I had a spine and took VR.
RN
they wore down the soft parts.
London, Englandia
Reserved plot
RN β Reflections
It doesnβt matter how many people say, βyouβre on the right track, doing all the right thingsβ- so is everyone else. It doesnβt matter how βcutting edgeβ, βpolicy relevantβ or βhigh impactβ your work is- so is everyone elseβs. It actually didnβt matter that you took a day off out of sheer exhaustion. It doesnβt matter what you do when the system is rigged.
Jennifer Polk
She had so much potential
Toronto, ON
π
Jennifer Polk β Reflections
As it turns out, the afterlife is way more fun and interesting than she imagined.
DJ
Should have listened to the friends who warned you about that advisor
Brooklyn, NY
πΊ
πΉ
CT
You wanted enough income to buy a house here? You absolute moron.
Ann Arbor, MI
π₯
πΉ
Biffo
My PhD made me unemployable.
A Citizen of the World
Reserved plot
M.
Find a project you love and you'll work really fucking hard and then burn out.
Brighton, UK.
Reserved plot
M. β Reflections
I just want to teach and research without having my worth as a human being bound to the number of published papers. I want to go to conferences without worrying about "networking". I want to post memes on Twitter without worrying about being unprofessional. I want basic job security instead of feeling like someone's doing me a massive favour by giving me a stipend that I can just about survive on. I want to be seen and accepted for who I am, rather than the perfected illusion of myself that so many people seem to prefer.
DR
R.I.P.
USA
π₯
DR β Reflections
Brilliant scholar left broken by racism and discrimination in STEM
Anonymous
...Educational system that feeds on students
A country
π
2nd Author
PhD + Postdoc + Fruitless Job Search = Divorce
A major metropolitan area
πΉ
Burnout postdoc
Bullied to the point of burnout
Scotland
Reserved plot
Andrew Johnson
Should have been better
Baltimore
π
Andrew Johnson β Reflections
My heart is broken anew every day.
DHA
Child of 2 academics. Failed grad student. In exile as staff of faculty union.
A Nutmeg in the Land of Steady Habits
π
π₯
Dr. A
research not 'niche' enough
USA
πΉ
JB
A once promising graduate student spoiling every opportunity and relationship
USA
Reserved plot
RBW
She soon learned this "lifestyle" came with a cost: her health & happiness.
Maryland, USA
πΊ
πΊ
RBW β Reflections
It took my father's death in the first year of my tenure-track position to realize the sickness and anxiety working in academia caused was NOT the legacy I wanted to leave for myself, my students, and my children.
AA
Tried to unionize
Northeastern University
π
π
AA β Reflections
The admin sent armed cops every time we passed out fliers to our fellow workers
David
PhDone with this Shit
Boston
Reserved plot
David β Reflections
I am so glad that I spent 3 years of my life with deteriorating mental health for a nonexistent job market!
WGL
No job, no prospects, no hope.
UK
πΉ
R.C.
No publications + no funding = no postdoc
UK
πΊ
π
R.C. β Reflections
Add in an unsupportive supervisor, ruined mental health, and the two body problem... it's just not worth it!
Anon
My work's in the REF submission, I'm not employed in UKHE anymore
UK
π
π
LAA
Tenure-track but university is no longer honoring tenure.
USA
Reserved plot
N/A
tried to climb the long ladder but fell into a wheelchair
Fortress Europe
πΉ
π
Alexis Santos
Let me run one more model
University Park, PA
πΊ
Alexis Santos β Reflections
He probably still wants to run one more model.
DeathByOverwork
Killed herself working still not feeling she was good enough
Sitting at desk to mark those last scripts at 4am
Reserved plot
DeathByOverwork β Reflections
The neoliberal university will always demand more more more
IRH
He wouldn't move to Sh*tsville Arkansas for a 1-yr VAP
Purgatory
πΊ
J.B.
Too trans. Got ill. Here lies the career I wanted.
London
π
π
DS
Here lies an academic who didn't want to be an academic
Hyderabad.
Reserved plot
RS
Likely Perishing
UK
Reserved plot
Anonymous
Long hours, low pay, limited opportunities
UK
Reserved plot
Anonymous β Reflections
Pay's awful for the skills/leadership etc we are given daily; possibilities for progression seem limited; and a sense that progress is based on the stuff we don't get time to do. Looking elsewhere - but haven't made the leap yet.
JW
Started lots of projects, never finished them
Purgatory
Reserved plot
JW β Reflections
Iβm definitely NOT getting tenure :(
GMS
Loved doing research. His awards showed his fit. Never got an interview.
Porto Alegre, BR
π₯
πΉ
GMS β Reflections
Great to have a place to remember and to mourn our attempts into this crazy academic life.
SdL
Impossible to get a PhD in my field
The Netherlands
πΊ
π
s.a.
some dumb 1st gen redneck who thought working hard would be enough
new england (reluctantly)
Reserved plot
s.a. β Reflections
I thought being a professor was a job, I was wrong.
H
Death by trying to make a full time wage as a casual
Regional University
Reserved plot
H β Reflections
Seven years as a casual academic, and I can't do it anymore. I could be less stressed running a multinational company.
ZA
Actually found I can do research just fine outside of the academy
UK
π₯
A. Z. B
I got pregnant. RIP digging around the world.
Europe
πΉ
π₯
A. Z. B β Reflections
Having a child in academia is a bad idea.
WER
Crushed by the excessive expectations of the academic job market
NC
π
Elisa, PhD ABD
Adjunct - TA - Adjunct - admin GA - ?
Central NY
π₯
π
Elisa, PhD ABD β Reflections
In 1 of 2 US degrees in my field;
K Giles
Published and perished
USA
πΉ
K Giles β Reflections
There is a better after-life.
S
He peaked too soon and ultimately disappointed his employers.
The North, UK
Reserved plot
S β Reflections
Follow an academic career path in reverse I burnt out of a permanent role into ever increasingly precarious and junior roles until my academic career simply fizzled out.
AMH
Adjuncted too long, delayed completing my PhD, there is no longer a place for me
PA
Reserved plot
C
Leaving with a little bit of sadness but an overwhelming sense of relief
Australia
π₯
Anon PhD
Bullied by advisor. Will find some job that deserves my efforts...
UK
πΉ
π₯
Gabriele de Seta
Just one more postdoc and I will be employable
Wherever there is a job
Reserved plot
Gabriele de Seta β Reflections
"How don't you have a job yet?"
VWN
Applied for jobs diligently but never got an interview, or feedback.
Normal Island
Reserved plot
Pinar
In loving memory of "research time"
Liverpuuul
π₯
anon
15 years service, fired over MS Teams
UK
πΊ
Unknown Academic
Simply didn't "want it" enough
Cambridge, UK
Reserved plot
Unknown Academic β Reflections
thanks for setting up this place to grieve!
anonymous
She could no longer navigate the exploitative, sharky behavior of older scholars
South Africa
Reserved plot
JC
how naive of me to think it wasn't nepotism & backchannels all the way down
bumblefuck, indiana
π
AOK
Scholarships all cut to pay public debt interest and praise neoliberals
Brazil
π
πΊ
KM
Zero support, confidence destroyed. 5 years on happy in new job
UK
π
SW
Failed academic, well, not really failed, A+ for effort, B for actual results
Ohio
πΉ
πΊ
SW β Reflections
I am enjoying my role of finding the kimwipes for your students you are too busy to supervise